Wednesday, 29 June 2011

secret: stuff about me, the re-do

i did this survey on facebook quite some time ago, and it reminds me of highschool days. so i thought i'd do it again. for fun. i only changed the answer if i needed to, is that lazy?

Where were you 3 hours ago? at home, sort of right where i am now.
Have you ever eaten a crayon? No
Are you wearing socks right now? nope i do not like socks
Do you have a car worth over $2,000? Don't own a car
Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it? let the car wash do it.
Last food that you ate? White chocolate timtams from Australia, thanks Mitch!
Last person's house you were in? Mika Annica Lisa Amy and Charlie's house
Worst injury you've ever had? My re-occuring bad shoulder from this season
Do you miss anyone right now? Yes. my brothers in Australia
What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Blue eyelashes is the key. And laughing at their jokes. also, if everyone is drunk, chances go through the roof.
What are your plans for tonight? Sleeping.
Who is the last person you sent a Facebook message or comment? Stu. Trying to make him move to Canada
Next trip you are going to take? down to corvallis, OR, to see the fambly
Ever go to camping? AAAAll the way to camping
What do you want to know about the future? When will I be famous?
Where is your best friend? i have many many best friends. they are everywhere. EVERYWHERE! sydney, melbourne, armidale, perth, paris, whistler...
How is your best friend? Facebook will tell you if you really need to know.
Do you have a tan? sort of, but its disappearing again; summer, where the bloody hell are ya?
Do you collect anything? Owls, Books, Wise words.
Who is the biggest gossiper you know? Sulee who i work with, but in a good way, she just knows everything about everyone.
Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over? The one time I drove in Melbourne ever. This was in McGregor's car that you had to use a screwdriver with to start the ignition. Excellent. luckily i played it cool (see above re: blue eyelashes, laughter at jokes, alcohol).
Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? Yes but it's really not for me, i prefer the strawless route.
What does your last text message say? from james, telling me about a band called the brasstranaughts that he thinks i will like.
Last time you took a shower? this morning. it helped.
What is your heritage? 6th generation sheep farmer. kinda cool, kinda lame. convict.
Are you someone's best friend? chyeah i am
What were you doing at 12AM last night? being asleep at a sleepover at the swedish girls house.
Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of? various. no-one you know.
Have you ever been drunk? once or twice. but twas all in good fun
Have you ever tried drugs? Yes
Do you smoke? More often than i should, but less often than i want to.
How old were you when you received your first kiss? 15 I think.
Have you ever been rejected by a crush? yeah it bites
What do you want to be when you grow up? rock star. failing that, who knows.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Lust definitely.
Who do you have a crush on? Nobody, and it's boring as shit. currently making up a shortlist of potentials.
How would you describe yourself? female, caucasian, prone to bouts of giggling and yelling.
What is the best compliment you have ever received? constantly complimented by the amazing people who i count as friends also counting me as a friend
What is your greatest strength? the ability to laugh at many things
What is your greatest weakness? Lack of follow through. Chronic uncertainty. indecision. i don't know, whatever.
What is your first thought when waking up in the morning? snooze button. where is it. how fast can i get to it... then some quick snooze maths to figure out how many more times i can hit that
What is your last thought before you go to bed? insomniac lately, so probably 'fuck it will i EVER sleep again'
Do you think you're attractive? Yes. I can read, write, have all my own teeth and comprehensie health insurance. NOW ASK ME OUT FOR DINNER
Who makes you laugh? dylan moran. my brothers. phill and kate. fabel. mika, annica, karin. james. myself- sorry but it's true.
Who would you want to be tied to for 24hours? someone from the above list- funny = best way to combat whatever issues i imagine you face as a result of being tied to someone
Have you ever seen a dead body? No.
If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change? The afore-mentioned chronic laziness... and my stage fright.
Have you ever played strip poker? No.
What do you want your friends to think about you? They are welcome to think whatever they like.
Have you ever mooned or flashed someone? No.
Do you have any hidden talents? I can read up to 8 books at one time... not simultaneously, but as an ongoing project. am also pretty good at putting in contact lenses.
Do you usually prefer books or movies? Books
Who is always able to cheer you up when you're sad? Bridget Jones.
Would you ever have sex before marriage? Yes, oh boy would I
Who do you talk to most on the phone? Mum- although not so much while i'm in whistler.
How do you vent your anger? cryptic passive-agressive blogging, and imagining how good it would feel to mildly inconveniene someone in some subtle way
Would you ever date someone younger than you? Older than you? I shy away from dating someone younger, in a town like whistler anyone male is a boy no matter how old they are. older. 30 +
What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? i really like it when i drunk text people and they text me back, even though it's clear i'm ridiculous. i think that's pretty nice. also i like flowers. and i love when people visit me at work.
Do you prefer talking on the phone or online? Online. and i alway say you just can't beat a good text message.
Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them? i'd like to think so.
What is your favorite book? handmaid's tale by margaret atwood.
Are you happy with the person you are becoming? mostly.
Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago? yes. a quiet relief.
What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now? a decent rider with a few more accomplishments on her resume and a few more tricks up her sleee.
Are you happy with the life you have? right now i am well pleased with my life.
What Country You Wanna Visit: France, or Greece. but first, east coast canada
How do You Wanna Die: Some way that doesn't leave an ugly corpse... so i guess, good-looking? Not in pieces.
Do you Like Thunderstorms? yes they are splendid and i got to have one while i was in australia, in the house i grew up in... i get goosebumps now even thinking about it.
Are you a Health Freak? naw.
Do You Think You Can Sing? Yes.
Can You Whistle? Yes
Can You Walk In High Heels? Nope.
What Kind Of Perfume Or Cologne Do You Wear? chanel: coco mademoiselle.
What is the last book you read? can't remember. something trashy. also, re-reading handmaid's tale. dem fine novel.
Do you enjoy sleeping late? yes. yes i do.
are you reliable? for some things. i am never late to work. i am always happy to see my friends. but i don't return dvds on time, and sometimes i never write back to text messages.
Have you ever had a secret admirer? i hope so.
Do you like the smell of gasoline? no. i prefer the smell of permanent marker.
What do you plan on doing tomorrow? work, book vacation.
What's your favorite day of the week and why? the day before something awesome is going to happen, the day of the awesome thing, and as long as im not too hungover, the day after.
Do you have any nicknames? nah
Would you rather have money or love? i know i'm meant to say love. but whistler is an expensive place, and it's full of crappy boys.
Do you have any obsessions right now? blogging, facebook, swedish girls
Have you ever been in the newspaper: no
Would you rather dress up or dress casually when going out with friends or your husband/wife? casually.
What shoes do you regularly wear? flipflops.
What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day? stay in. have sex. watch movies. play my guitar. drink coffee, big mugs of it. drink beers... or caesars.
When was the last time you were sick? fully sick = always. its how i roll motherfucker
If you were to dress up for a special date, what would you wear? i don't remember what a date looks like. a date in whistler is getting drunk at the same place.
What is your favorite color to wear? wear a lot of purple and red
What did you do last night? twilight marathon and sleepover with annica and mika
When hanging around the house, do you wear shoes, go barefoot, wear socks, or wear slippers? barefooted
Do you like to shop? yes. secondhand thriftstore treasure is the fucking bomb.

poem challenge: the things i would say

(i just went to watch a quasi-irish band, and i started writing this and it came out as a song, not a good one or a finished one, but it's aboot the only thing i've really written this week. it has chords but they're not quite right yet)

oh the things i would say if i wasnt afraid
the things i would say
the things i would say

i've undone myself i've unbuttoned my shoes
i'm writing a love song, i want to write blues
the things i would say, and the things i would choose
oh the things i would say if i wasnt afraid.

instead of your breath i have tears in my hair
ive tried to read maps but they lead me nowhere
i wish you were bothered, you really don't care
oh the things i would say if i wasn't afraid.

and as you've insisted i'm dancing alone
humming the song that will get myself home
wont write you a letter or pick up a phone
oh the things i would say if i wasn't afraid.

oh the things i would say if i wasn't afraid
the things i would say,
the things i would say

i wont tell you why and i wont tell you when
just leave you some scribbles from my lonely pen
think back to before, and were we happy then?
oh the things i would say if i wasn't afraid

oh the things i would say if i wasn't afraid
the things i would say
the things i would say

things i would say(if i wasn't afraid):

i was only in love with the idea of you

i don't want to be alone forever

i like you let's go out

i've made a huge mistake

move, bitch, get out the way, get out the way bitch, get out the way

one day you are going to wake up alone with all your mistakes staring you in your face

i 'm so much better than you.

Thursday, 23 June 2011

treasure: the boys i love (it's time i told you so)

how often do you tell someone you love them? and when is too soon? when's the right time?

i speak not of romantic love, but of bromance, except it's tricky you see, i'm not a bro.

what i mean is that i am surrounded, in the luckiest & raddest way, by people i love for different reasons. i have all these joyous connections with people, and a strange fear of telling them i love them. will it change the relationship, i wonder? part of me feels that the very strength of some of these friendships is the lack of necessity to constantly vocalise or validate.

these mainly are my relationships with boys. girls throw the 'L' word around (no boys, not 'lesbian') with great ease. but many rewarding and solid relationships in my life have been with boys. i trust the sturdiness of mateship.

i grew up with brothers, and those very boys have grown to be my best friends in the entire world. anyone who has spent any real time with me will notice i am constantly referencing them, texting them, Facebook bantering with them...

truth be told it breaks my heart not to see them every day. i would do anything for either of them, and that's not falling into the Hallmark category of 'just something you say'; i'd rob banks 'n' shoot people.

i love them, but i don't actually tell them very often. does that matter? should i, just in case? after all, we are just humans in soft squishy shells, and none of us will last forever.

so many of the people i love are boys. i hope, as far as a friend goes, i am fairly easy company. i enjoy nothing more than shooting the shit- beer and banter. i hope that all these guys i count as friends know that i have the capacity for more serious conversation if they ever need one, but i suspect we're all more comfortable with the arrangement we have.

it takes a lot for me to trust someone, even/especially to feel comfortable around people. i'm great at feigning interest and faking friendships, or friendliness.

if someone passes my tests, and i'm not sure i'd even be able to consciously tell you what they are, then i love them, and it takes a lot to shake that. i am generally not wrong when it comes to friends (with a few notable exceptions, but boy have i learned from those ones) and i'll forgive a lot from someone who's made that switch in my mind from 'happy aquaintance' to 'beloved friend'. by this i mean, if you've killed someone but it was with good reason, i'll probably help you hide the body. i don't know what says 'i love you man' in a more emphatic way than that.

my friends solidify me. they make me certain i exist on those grey days when it's hard to be sure of anything.

the easy and unasssuming friendship and company i take from the boys (nearly men) in my life is grounding, is gravity.

so let it be said here: I love you, and i thank you for being exactly what you are to me in this one short life i've got. i've written this with the following people in mind:

stu: for celebrating with me when things are awesome (like pow days) and commiserating with me with things are shitty (like when bitches be crazy). for calling to check i didn't have concussion after being hit by a skier early this season. for making me get out of bed to lean against a post and drink another beer, even though i'd thoughtfully put myself to bed.

hugh: for your consistently spot-on music recommendations. for that six months in whistler. it was the first six months of the rest of my life, and it was an honour to have you in such close quarters for it. for your 21st speech: not for the delivery of the speech, but that 4 hours earlier you asked me for help selecting an adjective while putting together the finishing touches. i know you love me too buddy, even though you never write back to my texts.

cam: for talking me into boarding instead of skiing. thank fuck. for always letting me smoke your cigarettes when i'm drunk. for agreeing to live with me next season; the light at the end of a dark tunnel. for the aussie $50 note that you left in my care: i still got it safe n sound buddy!

mitch: for always insisting we need 'sweets' and for the extra-large helpings of icecream. for consistently calling girls 'love' and answering your phone with either "hey bud what's crackin' ", or "what's up fucknut". for "moses twist" by bliss n eso. for your sushi boardies.

phill: for the comedy, for the GNARly enthusiasm. for pushing me to get just a little radder on the hill than i would have done otherwise. for being the raddest rider on the mountain. for my "first text when i got back to Canada" after my vacation. for your mad yo-ho diablo skills.

fabel: for showing me supertroopers and cooking an amazing dinner in one night. for all the comedy, specially those motherfuckin snakes... the texts that made me laugh out loud. for the free mangoes. for your 'meh, fuck it' mantra. for your mullet.

andy: for that pow day on Harmony with Kate and Phill, even though i rode like shit. for all those movies, with high levels of anticipation for the dubstep aliens. for being my company the night a few weeks ago waiting to hear how my stepbrother's surgery went.

matt: for being my drunk text buddy last season. for pavement, and for broken social scene. for meeting my mum and me in Golden for lunch last summer.

nick: for bringing me coffee and cake. for the amount of times you and damen drove me home in the van last summer (sometimes via the lake for some palm bays and a sneaky joint). for that night playing guitar together up at the alpine party house, drinking coronas (even if that night did end with reddy face-raping me).

damen: for all the shredding we managed to sneak in (even if you progressed so much faster than i did). for always playing bon iver in the van. for yelling at Natalie at work. for celebrating my promotion via text message, and taking the 'hookers and blow' joke a little too far.

jo: for reading my blog and liking my poetry, or at least telling me you do. for always checking up on my sex life (or lack thereof), and for the 'get drunk, it always works' pep talk. for constantly being at least a little jealous of my life here, giving me the snap out of my funk to realize i'm living a blessed life here.

kieran: for choosing me to be the one you move to montreal with. for meeting me at Central. For enjoying your life and not being too cool to say so. for that fucking good coffee in sydney. for the dumplings.

yanni: for encouraging my escape, and applauding it's success. for your slight tinge of insanity. for your fucking awesome bar and your bar-related comedy, both standup and slapstick.

mat: for being the raddest new dad i know. for buying me a book and posting it to me from amazon because it's a book you loved. for one time lasting 40 mins before asking if i'd got laid recently, and for pointing out that fact. for suggesting that dropping a person's toothbrush into the toilet and then replacing it is an acceptable form of revenge.

when i think of any one of you i smile to myself with some silly memory. you've made me a little more cool, all in your own way, and i do appreciate the help.

i won't be saying it to your faces unless i'm drunk, or i'm at your wedding (probably, let's face it, also drunk), but i love you all.

thanks for being so fucking rad.


karma: it's a bitch, isn't it?

told you so i told you so i told you so

Monday, 20 June 2011

poem challenge: to be worthy

to be worthy of portraiture
to be worthy of quotation
why is it i know nobody
with all these dreams and plans?
why do i shy away?
why do i not want the world in
my sweaty palms?
a smudge
by way of rushing to answer
your deliberate question.

no inspiration
eloquent at the back end of a few pints
a comedienne
by way of a couple more
i plead innocence, what with the
witnesses and all

but you laugh
and turn back to yourselves
good for no more than filler
(all filler, no killer).

poem challenge: the why

before i did anything else, i wrote poems. i still do. i write a lot of poetry, a lot of it just before i go to sleep. it's sort of a thing.

i've always been a bit scared of posting poetry, because it seems a little much, but fuck it, it's my blog and i'll poem if i want to.

the lovely wise and talented joseph dutaillis said nice things to me about my poems, and thus i have decided to set myself a weekly challenge, which is to pick my favorite poem i've written during the week and post it here.

so let the poem challenge begin.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

goddamn motherfuckin hiccups, don't drink the root beer

secret: even though i'm a woman

i'm all shades of enlightened recently. i've fallen out of love. i've witnessed karma. i've been inspired to see that other people besides myself hurt, and love, and all the whatnot that goes with that.

i'm all comfy n cosy and not a little self-impressed, and i offer no apologies. i wouldn't dare to call myself wise, but with everything that's happened recently, and i haven't wanted to bore y'all with it, i have sort of realised some things.

everyone's a stranger, but i've managed to collect myself the very best collection of strangers whistler could offer up. i sat tonight at the canucks game in Dusty's, the best pub in town, and looked out on my collection of strangers, and i realised i loved them all, a little bit. or a lot. how weird and wonderful to have met the people i know.

i'm staying here for now, and the decision doesn't scare me or make me shaky. so there.

the only thing that's always bothering me is the feeling that i keep meeting people that could be something, and i mean BE something, just as they leave town. but that is the way, and there will be others. i don't believe in soul mates after all. if i did i'd be screwed.

midnight wisdom.

you're welcome.

Monday, 13 June 2011

treasure: lyrics

i'm obsessed with 'the con' right now. i don't care if i'm about a billion years late, it's damn good.

"Soil, Soil"- Tegan & Sara

Oh and I'm feeling
Directionless yes
But that's to be expected
And I know that best
And in creeps the morning
And another day's lost
You've just written wondering
And I reply fast

All you need to save me
All you need to save me
Call (call)
And I'll be curled on the floor
Hiding out from it all
And I won't take any other call

I feel like a fool
So I'm going to stop troubling you
Buried in my yard
A letter to send to you
And if I forget
Or god forbid die too soon
Hope that you'll hear me
Know that I wrote to you

All you need to say to me
All you need to say to me
Is call (call)
And I'll be curled on the floor
Hiding out from it all
And I won't take any other call

secret: no longer 21

i'm no longer an opinionated & obnoxious 21 year old.

somehow, in the last little while, i've stopped feeling that i know everything, am the only one to have ever felt the feelings i feel, i've stopped believing that no-one will ever understand me, i've stopped trying to use mystery to make myself attractive or glamorous.

it's strange to say it, and stranger still to mean it, but i've grown up, somehow.

when you're 21, you're one of the many voices clamouring for attention, so sure that the things you have to say are significant, are something bigger than you and have come from some huge, expansive place. inspired.

i'm not for a minute suggesting that such sentiments don't have a place in the world, in fact a part of the world is built upon the words and noises of those who believe their contributions are necessary, dragged down from the infinite book from somewhere else, already written.

i read the blogs of those that are younger than me, in fact i found a lovely sweet one on tumblr that is by a 21 year-old in melbourne. i found her because she covered 'even though i'm a woman' by seeker lover keeper. i can read and connect and be a part of who she is and the identity she is clearly so hell-bent on constructing and reiterating at every turn. the walls of her room in her video are decorated with words and pictures. she learns covers of her favorite bands, records herself and posts them on youtube. i basically was this girl at one point in my life. it got me thinking though- i've decorated my room here in whistler, with pictures and words, and i've got my collections of pretty things, but i have little or no connection to them.

what i mean is, i feel i've almost gone through the motions in putting together this space i live in. i don't think it's me in the sense that i don't need people to see it to feel like they know me.

i used to set so much store by which books people had in their bookcase.

i used to be an almost hipster, and now i'm just a person. a 25 year old. no longer 21, but i remember it. i am glad not to be there anymore.

Thursday, 9 June 2011

secret: waiting

to be inspired
to be loved
to get my visa
to fix my bike
to have control
to have money
to start a detox
for the times i'm alone in the house
to just be kissed by a boy for the sake of summer lovin

for you to realize that you want to know me

for my washing to dry
for a break
for time to finish all the books i own
to be brave enough

for my next day off
for my sunburn to become suntan
for pay day.

treasure: sunburn

i don't know. i was careless again and the sun burned me.

what fools we are, us humans, for all the time of soaking up the sun's rays: even if it doesn't end up cancerous in 40 years it still makes us restless in bed, can't sleep.

i know exactly why i did it:

the warmth the green the mountains, all together and the sun, the nectarines, the cold iced tea.

the day off. all done and gone now, whispering away into working and planning and to-do lists like nothing you'd ever imagined.

i am responsible for so much. but apparently not responsible enough to avoid sunburn.

Friday, 3 June 2011

treasure: gaper day (the end of 2010/2011 winter season)

it was weeks ago now, but it was a day worthy of a blog.

this season has been a gift. each and every day up the mountain was spectacular in its own way. there were so many powder days. and even though by the end of the 6 months my body has repeated complaints for which i really should seek professional attention, i remain irrevocably in love with the mountain. yep, even though it kicked my ass.

the trees... oh my, the trees. emerald trees have a piece of my heart. so perfectly silent, and still. i had a day in those trees on my own, and i would have done them maybe 10 times over, still at the end getting fresh tracks, only one time seeing anyone else in there. the way it makes me feel to think about that experience is pure happiness, with a tinge of excitement. like being in love.

insane really. nobody could have made me believe, 2 years ago, that i would speak that way about an outdoor activity done in wintertime. foolishness! strap a piece of wood you've paid over $400 for to your feet, launch yourself down a steep hill, fall repeatedly into snow in minus degree temperatures, and laugh delightedly when the snow hits you in the face?!


gaper day started with eggs benny at riverside cafe. 2 for 1 eggs benny, to be more precise. with the orangest yolked eggs you ever saw... free range deliciousness. oh eggs benny, you are the perfect breakfast. sometimes i even have you for lunch... but anyway that's not the point.

i breakfasted with kate m, kate j, phill, annika, and mika who came over just to eat breakfast with us then went back to bed (she gets extra points). after this there were caesars upstairs, and possibly a beer, who's counting? we all wore funny things. kate and phill rocked white trash, kate m was the ultimate cowboy (jeans, on the mountain. crazytown), i wore brightly coloured stuff... yeah so mine didn't really have a theme so much.

when we met up with karin and taz in the village our party was complete. the blueberry shotski helped things along- for those of you not in the know (and i say this with a tinge of pity in my voice) that is a ski with 4 shot glasses stuck to it... the glasses are filled with jager, and then you organize 4 people alongside each other, or if you're in a gondola you can squidge them, i've heard... and then you take a shot.

we were all so excited to have a shot from the shotski that we'd all had one by base 2, when we hurried to hide the evidence. which we did, excepting the uh... large bottle of jager sitting right in the uh... open doorway as we went by the lifties.

but they must have been on our side, because nothing was said. they were probably so unsurprised that not even eyebrows were raised. those lifties have seen pretty much everything by the end of the season.

a personal joy of the day was getting to meet one of my brother's best mates, gianna, who i'd been trying to see since months ago when her and her husband moved to vancouver... we may have only done a few runs together, but they were quality. i think they were anyway; drink count was on the way upwards by this stage.

we did a run with the rest of those drunken monkeys on the mountain to celebrate gaper day in the most festive way, taking over the slopes. there was a lot of onesies, there was a person dressed as a banana... basically there was nearly everything. kate has uploaded a fantastic movie that phill took of a run, which reduces me to a puddle of giggles every time i watch it, mainly because it briefly touches on so much of what made it an awesome day. the drunkenness, the terrible attempts at jumps and 180s, the constant effort needed not to stop in front of everyone else, as you would inevitably get sprayed... also those vague but familiar home-sung notes from 'barbara streisand' by duck sauce, previously made famous on such occasions as Australia Day.

i fell. i fell hard, and i fell often. i re-busted my shoulder (afore-mentioned injury needing professional help at some soon stage) which i failed to register at the time on account of the uh.... well let's be honest, i was feeling no pain.

a formal apology needs to be made to fabel, as i just recently discovered i am responsible for twisting the fuck out of his knee (medical terminology, look it up) by tangling our boards on a chair. i am really sorry, and any flippancy on my part at the time was probably just because i'd been drinking. sorry buddy.

everyone was just out for the fun of it, and it really was fun. to spend the day with old friends and new, riding round cheering and hitting/ attempting to hit things we really shouldn't, drinking beer on chairlifts, even managing to get sunburned a little...

we sat a while at the slushy 'skimming' pool and watched people attempt to make it the whole way over with various degrees of success... phill got his ass out (complete with smiley face lovingly drawn by kate) and then got really cold and wet. which is less sexy than it sounds. also some quality video footage to go with that one, well, the video itself isn't much but the audio is fantastic... a lot of groaning, followed by "guys... a little help", followed by (imagine a very polite tone of voice) "could i trouble you for a shot of fireball sir". phill you are a genius, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

by the time i left the hill i was exhausted. still, we managed a brief apres, joined by fabel who it turns out was really only after a toonie for the bus (i guess that's the price you pay for fucking up someone's knee, i say i got off cheaply), the gorgeous karin (mainly because i dared her to come) and nicole, who sadly missed the day for no good reason (work) and then promptly procured yet more alcohol on the trip home.

fair call to her, but nicole didn't let me sleep and i was bone-weary and threatening to sober up. she's lucky i didn't cry, i could have cried. but i didn't, instead i showered and chugged my rockstar ("medicine") and then off to the swedes for a swede/sweet (see what i did there) houseparty!

i had to spend the whole next day at home laying down, as it turns out that yes, i did hurt myself rather badly, and didn't have the range of motion required to put on a bra, thus limiting my options for social interaction. i think my body was just in general shock.

all in all a grand old time. there are so many little things i'd love to elaborate upon, but instead i shall hold them to me as treasure, a secret to be repeated to myself like a mantra, to get me through until next season, when i intend to do it all- and more- again.

thanks go to:

kate m, kate j, phill, karin, taz, gianna and renee, fabel, charlie, ben, mark, everyone else on the mountain with me that day, and then nicole, mitch, annika, lisa, maria, andy, sue, ben l... anyone i rode with this winter who made every single day the best day. this season is going to be hard to beat.

thank you.


secret: i'd be lying if i did not say i love you more when i'm missing you

(insomnia is driving me crazy)